Rejiggered

I think its time to redo the whole walljm site. from scratch. admin, design, architecture, rss, all of it.

I tell you this, because I assume you are interested in the minutia. and because publishing is free. and because i’ll probably not do it otherwise. and because i needed to post something new. ;) 

I got tired of looking at the last post. :)

What to say really. That is the eternal question on the bloggers mind. Me, i mostly ignore it, as evidenced by my infrequent posts. You see, i hate to water down my content, and I’ve been uninspired. Dry spells, they come and go. And what do you to overcome them? Sometimes, you can get away with simply talking about the dry spell. Like I’m doing now, but that only works once, then you need to post something of substance.

I’d like to blame it on the winter. Theres a good chance she is the culprit. But the truth is, emotionally, I’ve felt pretty good, and lets all be honest. Contentment is a poor muse. The best thoughts, the poetic ones, the deep and interesting ones, those stem from extremes. Emotional highs and lows, drama, peaks and valleys. But its winter and cold. Nature is boring. Work is good, not too much, not too little. Church is busy (as always), and on a good keel. Life is bland. :) and I like it.

Photography will resume more in earnest in the spring, when i have a chance to get outside without feeling like a Popsicle. I have a new computer, which has greatly reduced the amount of time i have to wait for photoshop to do simple things like, you know, open. ;)

I’ve rambled. And I’ve bored you. I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better next time. 

Goings On, eek, ack, uck, and urk.

Its been a dizzying few weeks. All sorts of emotionally stretching activities. Being an entrepreneur is emotionally hard. ;) at least, at first.

So. the ads at theknot.com have been up since last Friday. it has been almost a week, and I have received two email inquiries (from the knot i believe), one which i met with yesterday. And one call from a bridesmaid of a couple whose wedding i shot 3 years ago. Three contacts in a week. not bad. :)

This should make me excited, and it does. Very. :) but unexpectedly, I found myself up against feelings of doubt and personal ego. I found myself feeling that they might not like me. and feeling the pressure to perform up to expectations, expectations i had less a firm grasp upon than I liked.

This all, I think, will pass. I’m new to this kind of situation. I want so badly for things to go really well (and honestly, I believe they will. don’t mistake this for a pity party.) that I feel more pressure than normal.

It has revealed to me a side of myself I wasn’t fully aware of though. I’m a worrier. ;) I come from a long line of worriers. I don’t worry in the traditional sense, but I do tend to dwell on things much longer than is profitable, wondering how it will turn out, and feeling unsettled by the prospects of it going a direction I don’t like.

This is something I think has had its subtle fingers in my life for a long time, and frankly, I welcome the opportunity to dig it out. I can’t sleep when I travel because I’m afraid I’ll miss something. I tend to meddle in places too long when I shouldn’t because I don’t like not being in control of my own destiny. I don’t like to trust God, or other people, until I know where they are heading, because I want to be in control, and when I’m not, I worry.

My natural tendency, when confronted with this problem is to stop caring. Thats a clever way of avoiding the problem I think. It doesn’t build anything, doesn’t strengthen anything. No risk, no reward.

So heres to practice. practicing trusting God, not by giving up, but by accepting that what God is going to do is going to be good, and whatever the circumstances, those i can simply enjoy as experiences, no more, no less. 

So. Very. Full.

2007 was a big year. At least, I think it was. *thinks* Yes. Yes it was. Don’t ask me to iterate why. I can’t recall the specifics. I’m bad at that.

Reading Jennifer’s blog made me want to write something. Because she put my blog on her links list (yay!) and I don’t want to be the blog on the link list that hasn’t been updated in forever. :)

I can’t remember exactly what I was doing early this year. I don’t recall it being all that important. I do remember Jon leaving for Dallas in early February, and driving through the worst ice storm in years. Warren and Athena got married that same weekend and I spent 35 hours driving in 3 days.

2007 was the first year I have lived alone. My whole life. I discovered, after a brief few months that I didn’t like it. But I adjusted and am pretty happy with things.

I bought the last of the necessary equipment for my professional photography, put up a Professional Photo Site advertising my work, and after one false start, started advertising on the Knot. Ads should be up today. We’ll see how that goes. I’ve been talking and planning and working on getting this started for years, and it looks like things may finally take off.

I get out more. I had to. For several months, I hardly left my apartment, and though I enjoyed catching up on years worth of lost TV :), I was a little depressed. But I have great friends, who I found I had to make some effort to keep in touch with.

I discovered that I don’t like living without the internet. I spent 6 months without it, from Nov 2006 – Mar 2007. I found it cut me off from people I care about. I know people (mostly techy snobs (i love you guys)) say that Facebook is evil, but truth told, it prevents my family and friends from retreating into their little holes.

Because, I come from a family of Introverts (mostly all of us, to one degree or another), and many many of my best friends are introverts. Without the internet, we don’t speak to each other. Much. ;)

I’ve discovered that more than Facebook, I really really like Twitter. Best app ever. Honest. When my Grandma died this Fall, half my extended family got hooked up. It was the best way to keep track of a dozen or more families, and keep them updated about her and the funeral arrangements. And now that most of them are on, I hear and know about whats going on with them in ways I simply never would have otherwise. And, they are talking more to each other.

The naysayers seriously underestimate the damage distance can have on relationships. Twitter makes me feel close to people I consider important, when they live halfway across the country.

I traveled some this year. Not overseas, but I did go to Louisville to see Tamara (had so much fun) and went down to South Carolina to see the Bergeys and meet Drew for the first time. I had really missed the Bergeys. For a couple I’ve only met three times in person, the Bergeys are some of my very best friends. The first two times I met them (Jenn’s graduation, then Daniel for the first time and Jenn for the second time at their wedding) was hectic and busy. But this time, I got them all to myself, had time to relax, talk and just enjoy company. I consider it the highlight of my year. :)

Well. I’ve spoken long. I did more, but these are the really important things. At least, the important things to me. 

STL Holiday Meetup

I have for a long time wanted to participate in the STL Bloggers meetups, but for the longest time they were scheduled on Wed nights, a time that is permanently booked for me. So I was pretty excited when they scheduled one on a Friday, last night.

I met some neat folks. And if you are one of those neat folks dropping by, let me first offer you my apologies for the mess. ;) I started redesigning walljm.com a few months ago, and err, got stalled. So part of walljm.com is different than the rest.

In the spirit of linkyness, here are the websites of people I met:

The State of Discontent is Jaelithe (her real name!), a writer. Very cool, who apparently has a sister (i think) who is getting married. Send her my way! (JasonWallPhoto.com).

Courtey Watson makes bracelets out of data wire. Crafty. I met her only briefly at the end. You can buy those cool little wire bracelets here on her etsy shopping site.

The Cupcake Project girl is named Stef (full name i don’t remember, sorry!). Her husband is getting into photography professionally also. The cupcake site is a great concept. very cool.

Dwight is a wannabe writer and blogger (so he says). Wears a leather jacket and swaggers. ;) He writes thrillers in novel form. Sweet.

Nothing Gained and Nothing Lost is the blog of Farrel, a single mommy with reddish hair. I didn’t get to speak much with her, but she writes technical manuals for a software development firm.

Bill Streeter runs LoFi Saint Louis, a video blog centered around bands and music mostly. Cool guy. One of the first video bloggers on the vlog scene.

Susanisk i met only briefly also. She works for a PR firm, beyond that, you’ll have to visit her blog.

So great fun. There were 25-30 people there, a number of which i didn’t meet, and some who i didn’t get websites for. Here’s to keeping in touch! 

Me, Myself, and Aye!

Every so often, here on walljm.com, its time for me to talk about myself, to let all my adoring fans know what goes on in my life. I write these only sporadically, because to be terribly honest, my life, albeit busy, is pretty awfully boring. :)

Here at walljm.com we are busily ignoring the fact that Christmas seems to be just around the corner. There are things afoot here, but I’ll not tell you about them now. What I will instead tell you about is my job. Which I have come to dislike much less than in past years. During this last year I worked on three different projects, found out that a project I worked on 4 years ago and despaired of ever seeing come to fruition was finally put into production. Hurrah!! I’ve found I still don’t really like Java, but that I understand it better now than I used to. Hmm? Maybe I’m getting better as a developer.

This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on becoming a full time photographer. On the contrary. I’m really close to thrusting myself out into the cold cold world of entrepreneurialism. In fact, you can see my first tentative step by going to JasonWallPhoto.com and checking me out. I had planned to start advertising in Saint Louis in November, but a series of things kept me from achieving that goal. Not to be deterred, I plan to launch myself in January. So Saint Louis Brides pay attention. You’ll be seeing my name soon. :)

If you’re a Family or a Senior from High School or College, or just a guy or girl looking to have a nice photo taken, don’t feel left out. I have room for you too!

And, because I’m such a cool guy (really, I am.) I also do product photography. So if you’re a business needing good photos of items, give me a call, or if you’re just an average joe trying to sell something online or on Ebay or Amazon.com and need good photos to compliment your great products, give me call. I can help.

I can’t think of much else to say. No major life changes here. My grandmother went home to be with the Lord two weeks ago, and I will write more about that later. My extended family has discovered Twitter! Yay! And this will do I think.  

Welcome to the New Me

Walljm.com has slowly been evolving through the last 7 years that I’ve been blogging. This represents the 6th version and a slightly new philosophy of presentation.

At this point, none of the sub pages have been converted yet, a task that I will get to when time permits and I’ve been able to think out how I want them to look exactly. I’ve wanted to implement something using a bigger footer for some time, but hadn’t been able to come up with something I liked.

The new face of walljm.com is one post per page. This reflects the slower nature of my posting style. I’ve removed the linklog from the normal stream and put it down below, but I’ll probably include it in the archives. The most recent photo and/or regular post will appear on the front page. I’ll probably add some navigational aids below the post for jumping either to the archive for that month, or for clicking through posts one at a time.

I hope you like it. I do. :) 

I have photos in the bin

but no time to sort and post. But the real reason the photo blog is sitting idle, is because what I have in the bin doesn’t really express what I want to say right now.

For all those who know me, but hear from me little, life for me has been consuming. Mostly at work. The project I’m currently on has required a great deal of concentration and I’ve had little time to devote to other things. *sigh* It sounds like a poor excuse. At the very least, its a common one.

What you get, dear reader, out of all this is more writing than usual. I haven’t been totally void of creative energy. I’ve been posting poetry, but mostly, I’ve been working on something brand new. Its not ready yet, but I want it to be ready soon, so it has consumed all my available creative energy. If you’re eager to see it, then send me an email or shoot me an IM (AIM: walljm2002, Jabber/GTalk: walljm@gmail.com) and bug me to finish it. ;)

 

Reading lore makes me want to write, which feels strange.

But its a strange I like. Mostly the style of her words makes me contemplative, and helps me get in touch with that emotional aspect of myself that is most creative. Its like she is thinking out loud, only in crisp well thought out sentences. It feels natural, and makes you feel like you are somehow best friends, though you’ve never met and have only actually conversed on two, perhaps three occasions.

 

Me, Myself, and I

Four months ago, I did not anticipate how much I would miss Jon when he moved to Texas to work on his masters. Although I knew that I would miss not having him around, I wasn’t expecting how much being alone in my apartment would sap me of my creative energy. When work got very quiet for about eight weeks, I became so frustrated that I started looking around at other job opportunities and thinking seriously about doing something, anything, to break the monotony. I even considered getting a dog. ;)

I have neglected this website.

I had, in fact, neglected all of my current hobbies and projects. I hadn’t worked on any of my photo projects, or done much with the Dynamic Bible in the way of improvements, or written much in the way of poetry or essays. Quite the sob story.

Back last Thanksgiving, I made the decision to get rid of my internet access at home. Around the same time, I dropped my Netflix account. I did that for a couple reasons, one of which was to save some money. I was very close to retiring my CC debt and I knew Jon was going to be leaving soon. But more importantly than that, I needed to get away from media. I felt inundated, and a little confused spiritually. So I decided a drastic reduction in the amount of information coming in, a sort of media fast, was in order.

During that time, I read more, watched some movies on screen, occasionally got dvd’s from the library, and for the most part, went off the inet grid while at home. I read more of my Bible.

And it helped.

But I sorely missed being connected. IM has, over the last 4-6 years, become a very real tie to many of those whom I consider my closest friends, and for 6 months, I was unable to communicate to them.

A few weeks ago, the proxy restrictions at work became much more stringent, and being unable to get access to necessary resources, so I hooked broadband back up. I’m writing this here to let my readership know what’s been going on with me for the last few months of sparse posting and communication.

I’ve learned some important lessons about myself in the last few months. The most significant is that, although I need and enjoy solitude often, I need contact and communicative relationships with people more. So much of why I act creatively stems from that. Without it, I experience a mild, though significant, depression, a sort of numb feeling emotionally that makes you feel like things don’t really matter.

At work, a few weeks ago, I was finally assigned a project, and have been busy with things to accomplish and am feeling much better. In addition to the changes at work, several weeks back I had to make a concerted effort to renew friendships and break out of malaise.

So that’s whats up with me. For those who know them, I’ll be posting a few of Naomi and Gavin’s engagement photos in the next couple days. 

Winter Is Indeed a Harsh Mistress

Well, I’m well and truly tired of driving now. I covered about 2000+ miles between Sat and Mon. The trip down to Dallas with Jon was pretty crazy, occasionally harrowing and for the most part very very long. ;)

But I’m home now, and I’m in need of a roommate. Applicants can contact me via email. ;)

Jon is unpacked and ready to start the spring semester at the University of Dallas. I have the whole apartment to myself. I think I shall throw a party, so expect invitations in the mail sometime soon.

Addendum: Because it sounds confusing on a second reading, I’m not throwing the party cause Jon is gone and I’m happy about it, but because the apartment feels so empty with him not there that I feel compelled to come up with ways to fill it up.

Fragments: Pieces of Life

Its Fall here in the midwest and I’ve been feeling more lately. Things always feel more saturated in the Fall, as though the richness of the colors bleeds into life. ;)

Mostly its my over active emotional personality. I’ve not been posting much, and the photos have trickled to a halt. This is because photoblogish type material has been in short supply. You would think this kind of season would awaken my creative energies, and you would be right. But in a perverse turn of events, my creative energies have taken me right straight away from by blog.

I’m working on a print photography essay, which I am tentatively calling Vertical Landscapes. It has consumed much of my photographic time. I may post samples online, though I don’t think I will post them in the blog’s photo stream. They need to be experienced as a set, not serially. I’ll think of something. I am hoping to co-opt my churches basement and show them for a week or so, just for the fun of putting on the event. This will happen sometime in early spring, around April or May.

The essay itself is a series of architectural photos of Downtown Saint Louis, taken from the point of view of a tourist. The idea behind the essay, and the thing I want to convey has to do with what it feels like to look up. Urban spaces don’t often have the expansive vistas of the pastoral landscapes, but they are beautiful and can inspire the same kind of awe and appreciation for time. A great deal of rich detail is often missed by people in downtown areas because they don’t take time to look up. Gargoyles and intricate stone work abound in such places.

One of the things I discovered while taking the photos was the way my perspective of large objects changed. I used to see big buildings in small pieces, scanning to take in the whole, but never really looking at the entire structure all at once. Because I was aiming often to get the entire building in the frame, I began to see the buildings as whole objects planted on the ground.

In addition to the essay, I have been working on two or three poems, which I probably won’t finish for some time. They seem to indicate long stories and I’m not good at long stories, I’m not even really that good at narrative at all. I don’t want to ruin them, so I’m taking it as slow as necessary. I apologize if I’ve got your hopes up. Email me if you’d like to see the unfinished pieces.

In other news, work has been busier lately. I felt it necessary to devote more energy to my job as a whole and because of that I’ve had less desire and passion to spend on this website. I regret this very much, but it is a necessary part of life I suppose. The good news is that work is going very well. I received a significant raise this year, one that finally rectified a pay imbalance that has been outstanding for a couple years.

My pastor and his wife are in Spain for the next couple weeks and I am filling in for pastor on wed nights (two sermons of 20 min duration) and for Sunday School. I feel a bit of pressure. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to preach on the week after next. My topic for this wed has to do with Faith. I feel a bit intimidated by the subject and the relative importance of the responsibility of not making doctrinal mistakes in the pulpit. Preaching to the congregation is a bit more difficult than preaching to the nursing home because the subjects are usually more complicated. ;) On a happier note, I am honored for the opportunity and a little excited.

Oh, I cleaned my apartment yesterday. First Monday in a while that I’ve been able to devote the whole day to house related chores. I’m pretty sure I’ve developed allergies in the last few years. In the course of cleaning and stirring up dust and what not, I was sneezing a good deal more than I used to. I think I am going to have to make an appointment and get tested to find out which allergies I have.

Ok, I think I’ve rambled on enough.

Cheers!

 

The Pendragon Project, from Burns Family Theatre, producer of Christian family movies

The Pendragon Project, from Burns Family Theatre, producer of Christian family movies The Burns go to my church and are doing a great job with this. Very professional. If you go to he downloads page and watch the 3min clip, some of the footage in the battle scene was shot my me. ;) First time behind a video camera. They had needed a second camera and I was available. Cool huh?
 

Top 50 Movie Adaptations (Which Ones I’ve Seen and Read)

Because Jason Kottke did it, and I’m shameless. Here is the list of 50 Top Film Adaptations and which ones I’ve seen and/or read.

1. [M] 1984
2. [M] Alice in Wonderland
3. [M] American Psycho
4. [M] Breakfast at Tiffany’s
5. Brighton Rock
6. Catch 22
7. [M] Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
8. A Clockwork Orange
9. Close Range (inc Brokeback Mountain)
10. The Day of the Triffids
11. Devil in a Blue Dress
12. [M] Different Seasons (inc The Shawshank Redemption)
13. [M] Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (aka Bladerunner)
14. [M] Doctor Zhivago
15. [M] Empire of the Sun
16. The English Patient
17. [M] Fight Club
18. The French Lieutenant’s Woman
19. [M] Get Shorty
20. [M] The Godfather
21. [M] Goldfinger
22. [M] Goodfellas
23. [M] Heart of Darkness (aka Apocalypse Now)
24. [B] The Hound of the Baskervilles
25. [M] Jaws
26. [M} The Jungle Book
27. A Kestrel for a Knave (aka Kes)
28. LA Confidential
29. Les Liaisons Dangereuses
30. Lolita
31. Lord of the Flies
32. [M] The Maltese Falcon
33. [M] Oliver Twist
34. [M] One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
35. Orlando
36. The Outsiders
37. [M] Pride and Prejudice
38. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
39. The Railway Children
40. Rebecca
41. The Remains of the Day
42. [M] Schindler’s Ark (aka Schindler’s List)
43. Sin City
44. The Spy Who Came in From the Cold
45. [M] The Talented Mr Ripley
46. Tess of the D’Urbervilles
47. Through a Glass Darkly
48. [M] To Kill a Mockingbird
49. [M] Trainspotting
50. The Vanishing
51. Watership Down

As you will note, I don’t read many popular or “great” novels. I do read, a lot, just mostly in sci-fi and fantasy and some classics. On the other hand, I’m pretty well watched (as it were). ;) 

Link

>> Noteworthy: Jason Wall
I’ve been recognized. I was surprised that he lifted the quote from my artists statement on the about page, and the bio from my bio. Cool, but I didn’t recognize the writing right off. It sounded far to mature to be me. 

Managing Your Online Identity

I remember reading Anil Dash’s article, Anil Dash: privacy through identity control many years ago. As a result, I purchased the JasonWall.net, JasonWall.org, and the .net and .org versions of walljm.com. Though I had other reasons, that article was influential in motivating me. In keeping with the idea that if you are going to have an online identity, I regularly register the walljm name on all the new services and major blog engines to prevent other people from preempting the name. If you search for Jason Wall on Google, the first site you’ll get is this one. The same goes for walljm, the other monikor I use often on the web. In addition, I have Blogger, LiveJournal, Xanga, MySpace, and WordPress blogs registered to the walljm identity that I use for both commenting (a lot of these sites won’t let you comment without a login) and reserving the walljm identity.

Incidently, if the guy out there who has registered the walljm blogger identity wants to give it up, I’d be grateful, and um, willing to pay a small fee. ;) As it turns out, after wishing I had the blogger identity for years, I apparently signed up a really long time ago and forgot about it. I hadn’t posted anything so the blogspot address was vacant. *doh* I tried logging in on a whim this afternoon and it let me with one of my old passwords. *sheesh* So there you go, all the major sites point here. Maybe someday I’ll use these blogs for something else besides pointers.