How a Haiku Evolves

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Her: Everything is still this morning. The cloudy, after-rain sky holds in the moisture & silence like a giant greenhouse :)
Me: mmm… that almost sounds like a haiku. :)
Me: the cloudy, after rain sky // holds moisture and silence // in the still morning
Her: Lol :) didn’t really think abt that :) I love the spicy smell of wooded areas after rain, esp. as the sun comes out & turns the heat on :)
Me: yeah. :) its been raining a lot here the last few days. the combination of the smell of rain and the smell of the grill last night brought up a bunch of vague memories of camping when i was young.
Her: :) nice :) or this: cloudy, after-rain sky // stillness, moisture, silence // city-wide greenhouse
Her: Funny how a smell takes you back faster sometimes than sight or sound :) prob bcs we do more seeing & listening than smelling :)
Me: or … like a greenhouse // the cloudy, after-rain sky // holds stillness, moisture, silence
Her: :) that’s good, too :)
Her: Hm. I almost prefer my haiku simile-less. Maybe for the same reason I enjoy semi-colons: implied connections :)
Me: interesting…
Her: So, i’d prob move your first line to the end & make it just one word.
Me: like: the cloudy, after-rain sky // holds stillness, moisture, silence // a giant greenhouse
Her: Yeah, more like that :) RE: like: the cloudy, after-rain sky // holds stillness, moisture, silence // a giant greenhouse

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I have been writing on the web since 2000. I am a christian , a photographer, an occasional poet, a recovering dreamer, an occasional philosopher, a software developer, an autodidact, and i resemble the INFP personality type.

2 Comments

  1. =) =) =)
    funny how a conversation can take two or more lines at a time–the smell things never did work its way into the haiku itself =)