Me, Myself, and I


Four months ago, I did not anticipate how much I would miss Jon when he moved to Texas to work on his masters. Although I knew that I would miss not having him around, I wasn’t expecting how much being alone in my apartment would sap me of my creative energy. When work got very quiet for about eight weeks, I became so frustrated that I started looking around at other job opportunities and thinking seriously about doing something, anything, to break the monotony. I even considered getting a dog. ;)

I have neglected this website.

I had, in fact, neglected all of my current hobbies and projects. I hadn’t worked on any of my photo projects, or done much with the Dynamic Bible in the way of improvements, or written much in the way of poetry or essays. Quite the sob story.

Back last Thanksgiving, I made the decision to get rid of my internet access at home. Around the same time, I dropped my Netflix account. I did that for a couple reasons, one of which was to save some money. I was very close to retiring my CC debt and I knew Jon was going to be leaving soon. But more importantly than that, I needed to get away from media. I felt inundated, and a little confused spiritually. So I decided a drastic reduction in the amount of information coming in, a sort of media fast, was in order.

During that time, I read more, watched some movies on screen, occasionally got dvd’s from the library, and for the most part, went off the inet grid while at home. I read more of my Bible.

And it helped.

But I sorely missed being connected. IM has, over the last 4-6 years, become a very real tie to many of those whom I consider my closest friends, and for 6 months, I was unable to communicate to them.

A few weeks ago, the proxy restrictions at work became much more stringent, and being unable to get access to necessary resources, so I hooked broadband back up. I’m writing this here to let my readership know what’s been going on with me for the last few months of sparse posting and communication.

I’ve learned some important lessons about myself in the last few months. The most significant is that, although I need and enjoy solitude often, I need contact and communicative relationships with people more. So much of why I act creatively stems from that. Without it, I experience a mild, though significant, depression, a sort of numb feeling emotionally that makes you feel like things don’t really matter.

At work, a few weeks ago, I was finally assigned a project, and have been busy with things to accomplish and am feeling much better. In addition to the changes at work, several weeks back I had to make a concerted effort to renew friendships and break out of malaise.

So that’s whats up with me. For those who know them, I’ll be posting a few of Naomi and Gavin’s engagement photos in the next couple days. 


About Author

I have been writing on the web since 2000. I am a christian , a photographer, an occasional poet, a recovering dreamer, an occasional philosopher, a software developer, an autodidact, and i resemble the INFP personality type.

1 Comment

  1. Thinks to self that maybe he will be less depressing to be around now that he is trying to be an extrovert.